Because I am the Cult Leader, That's Why

If you google signs of a cult there are various lists of symptoms. But one symptom every one agrees with is a leader that controls the whole thing. The leadership at Reformation Covenant Church definitely follows that mold.


"Cult leadership is feared. To disagree with leadership is the same as disagreeing with God. The cult leaders will claim to have direct authority from God to control almost all aspects of your life. If the cult is not a religious group then questioning the leaders or program will still be seen as a sign of rebellion and stupidity." Cult Watch 

It is well known that if you ask any of the elders almost anything, the response will be "Let me ask Dennis and I'll get back to you." I remember one morning for morning  four people got up to make their announcements about picnics and study groups and each one said before they began "The Elders have approved this message." I was new-ish at the time and I thought it was odd, but OK, so glad you got approval for your picnic/study group/what ever.

But no, they meant it. The elders had approved their message.

I used to think that a cult was something that would be instantly recognizable. For one thing, I thought if a church was Trinitarian it wouldn't be considered a cult. And I had always had decent church experiences in the past. I guess I was pretty naive. When people would say things I thought it was a joke or hyperbole. As I keep saying, it creeps up on you.

Authoritarian leaders will make decisions for you to obey that often are only made for the sake of the exercise of their authority. I don't know if it's to keep you on your toes or just to keep themselves reassured that they are still in control.

For example, once the pastor's wife remarked to me that the Christmas decorating was coming up and that she thought it was going to fall to her. She sounded tired and I thought I would mention it to my daughter and maybe she could help her out. My daughter was glad to and she and a couple other young women showed up to decorate for Christmas.

Now, we aren't talking 13 year olds. These were all early to mid twenty year olds with good taste.

My daughter came home in the late afternoon swearing "Never Again."

They had gotten the whole sanctuary decorated. You know, on ladders, dragging stuff around, crawling up here and there. They called the pastor, told him what they had done and what did he say? Great, thanks? Super job girls? No. He didn't like it. Do it over.

Now there is one thing you have to know. This man is blind. I don't mean metaphorically. I mean he is physically blind. He can see somewhat, but he can't drive or anything like that.

Why on earth would he be that opinionated over Christmas decorations?

I told her she should have said "Gee we're sorry but we've already been here for a few hours and we need to get to work. We'll redo it later" and then just leave it. She said she actually thought of it but the other girls were too scared. Too scared to stand up to the man and just say "Well, we have a life and we got to go?"

The thing is this kind of stuff happens all the time. It is generally known if you volunteer for something your gonna get grief. Calls at night. Confrontation.

Anytime someone tries to do something, like start a group, as soon as the group gets going and shows some sign of success the elders step in and basically quash it.

There was one guy I felt kind of sorry for. He seems to be genuinely talented at getting people together and making it fun and interesting. He started a group for the young adults. My son went to it and really enjoyed it. It was popular. Then the elders started taking over, coming to give "talks". (don't people get to hear you enough on Sundays?) One we laughed about, one of the elders told them that once you start holding hands during courtship you stop talking. We laughed about how uncoordinated a couple must be to not be able to talk and hold hands at the same time. Well, soon it fizzled out. The same guy led a community group for a while. Again, people were just having TOO MUCH FUN. The elders began sitting in. Eventually he stopped leading it.

You know, can I just say, if you can't trust a group of adults to run their own group there is something seriously wrong with your leadership.

This is ordinary life at this church. Probably most of the people who go there think it's totally normal and why am I going on and on about it.

This isn't normal. It's control.