Jamin Wight's victim is especially eloquent and if you do nothing else, read her blog here:
http://natalierose-livewithpassion.blogspot.com/
But what I want to talk about specifically is this: The CREC shoots it's own victims.
Why is this?
If you read my story, Amber's, Natalie's or other church abuse stories, there is a pattern that tends to repeat, I've noticed. A person or family is victimized. They appeal to the pastors/elders for help. Then the person is examined to find any of the smallest grain of fault that they may have that added to the situation, and the perpetrator is guarded. If there is anything the victim may have done, can be suspected of doing, or even if there is a slant of guilt that can be pinned to them in any way, all the attention will now be focused on that part of the situation. You see this in SPADES in Natalie's situation, where Wight had expressed interest in Natalie and was told to wait until she was 18 and was trusted to obey them. He was a seminary student after all. One would think that maybe integrity was important to him. Sadly, that might make me more suspicious now, but one can see why her parents might not have been hyper vigilant about the whole thing at that point. Therefore, since they didn't take enough active measures to protect Natalie, they must have been encouraging it. Also, in Amber's situation where the question ceased to be as to whether his employer was using shady business tactics or mistreating employees, but whether or not a post on Amber's facebook page was unsupportive of his career.
Now if the victim of this protests or denies what they are accused of, they will be given some form of the verse "THE HEART IS DESPERATELY WICKED AND WHO CAN KNOW IT". If they continue to deny it, in spite of the scriptural evidence that nobody can know they are innocent therefore nobody can be, therefore everybody must be as guilty as they can possibly be, they will then earn the stigma of "Bitter". Because "Bitter" in these circles is anyone who has anything to say about a wrong that has been done to them, ever.
Bitter (and it's fellow stigma personalities of "obstinate and willful") is now the only dimension your personality has. You will be viewed through that lens for a long, long time. Maybe forever with some. Like the Scarlet Letter only you get to wear a B.
The predator, on the other hand, has been caught. He has nothing to lose by getting all teary eyed and repentant and everything to gain. He'll admit it all, and a couple more things the pastor couldn't have known to make it look like he's "really coming clean". (Check the letter Natalie posted on her blog that Doug Wilson wrote to an officer. He talks about there being two confessions from Steven.)
Pastors eat this bit up. That's why they got into the ministry after all, to turn wretched sinners into new creations. And in a kind of perverse twist that is common in Christianity, the greater the sin the person has committed, the bigger fuss over their conversion. And by default, the more glory to the person that led them into the kingdom. It's almost like trophy hunting. Nobody gets excited about a dew eyed doe on your wall, but a lion... well, that's something! Proof that is ministry is so very, very fruitful! ( I don't mean all pastors of course. The more ego driven ones.)
The predator plays right up to the pastor's ego. In return for the feel-good ego stroke, the pastor is now in the predators corner. Nobody is going to deny his teary eyed convert into the fold! He'll believe in him, even if nobody else will! He will now take up his defense. This must be the right thing, right? Didn't Jesus say he came for the sick, not the well?
But the victim is still there, and they still have pain and an active accusation against the predator. And this is where the victim has now become the enemy.
Because of leadership dynamics the congregation will, for the greatest part, follow the lead of the leadership in regards to the case. But the guilt is unresolved. They are (understandably) a little more wary of apologies. And there is no restitution.
Therefore the victim must be shot. Not literally of course, but they will be driven from the camp and the memory of their presence will be closed over, like the grass in the Psalms that forgets that they were even there. At least as far as appearances go, and appearances are The Most Important Thing in a cult.
If they try to say anything in the distance the pastor will gently put his hands over his remaining congregants ears and murmur things like "bitter... so so angry... willful.... silly.... foolish... don't listen my dears...."
Until hopefully the voice fades in the distance and the murder is complete.
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