A New Blog

Dearest Father, when I look at the goings on in the past few weeks by people who claim they are doing what they do in faithfulness to you, my heart breaks. The meanness. The shear, self righteous, bullying meanness in the "name of God". I just can't take it. It's like a horrible, horrible car wreck. I tell myself, "Don't look. It actually doesn't affect you. you left that world."(thankyouthankyouthankyou).... But it's so incredible, the spirit of it. The utter assurance of self right-ness, the disregard that anyone could have any thoughtful opinion other than this one, the idea that you alone are the committed adherent to God and everyone else is thoughtlessly going to hell in a bucket...


And what gets me is there was a time when I would have been listening to these people, wide eyed and scared. Waiting for the leadership, those wise ones that held themselves up as the guides of the Christian world to tell me what to think.


Where was my brain?

It's so messed up it's hard to even think where to start. And is it worth even responding to? Is this a response? I don't know.

All I know is there are things in me that build up and sometimes I feel like I just can't take it anymore.

 I've watched pastors trying to draw another pastor into saying something controversial, just so they can hold it up and have everyone gasp at it. In the name of "doctrinal purity" of even "sexual purity" for that matter, they feel justified to call on the carpet, to examine, to dig up stuff on other churches, it's so utterly, embarrassingly shameful. It makes me think of the Spanish Inquisition. Answer my questions. Not so I can understand your point, maybe even be open to changing my mind even the slightest bit, but so I can gallop back to my fogeys and hold you up for trial on whether you should be a pastor, whether you are even saved,

It isn't hard to see how the Spanish Inquisition got going.

Anyway, it isn't all that new, or even remarkable in the world we call Christianity. Actually it's as old as the church is. But it did do something, it gave me energy to start a new blog. Haha, just what the world needs, right? Another blog. But it's something I've been thinking about for a long time. A place to ask questions, follow a train of thought, follow my seeking, and maybe there is someone else in this world who's looking around, thinking, "I don't know what Christianity is supposed to be, but this is seriously, seriously messed up."

Seriously.